Thursday, March 24, 2011

Sharing

I went out today on a social outing. My friend Amy invited me and our friend Gemma to hers for lunch. It was great. Between us the were four babies. Amy's Noah who is one in May, Gemma's Aiden who is the same age as Willow and Taylor. I had the best day. It was really amazing sharing with Amy and Gemma, knowing that they are going through similar situations as we are. I also learned a lot from them. We all worked in ICU at RPH together. Ive many fond memories of ICU and am actually looking forward to doing some casual shifts there (if they'll have me) in a few months. I have heard others say that coming back to work either part time or casually was more for the social aspect. Some adult time. I can understand this as I think for me, although it is for the money mostly, it is about the social interaction. It will also give Vince some quality time with the girls.

This week we have also had some great laughs. Both Grandma's have been here and I have really enjoyed their company and appreciate their help. The girls have been interacting a lot more and are even beginning to smile more. They have also given us a few laughs. Willow loves giving the bird and Taylor is always doing her super girl pose.

Of interest this week was the Insight program on SBS. It was about Surrogacy. I found it difficult to watch. Mostly because of some of the participants attitudes and opinions. I truly believe that most of those opposing surrogacy have no understanding of the reasons behind it and so easily apply their own experiences to it with such narrow blinkers that they cannot see any other sides of the argument. Where as those who are using surrogacy are usually fully aware of the same issues  but work through them or find ways to make it better. They usually have agonised over the ethics and morality of the situation they are in and considered all the facts. It is not a selfish act. It is usually a well planned heart felt journey has been heavily researched and analysed. Like all situations in life it is not always perfect and their will be those who sully it with their inappropriate behaviour. Their is also room for improvement in the processes available in India and I know that this will improve as India comes to term with the burgeoning industry it has created. I hope that sharing our story helps some people understand. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and opinions and we should respect the differences and seek to tolerate and understand.

Tomorrow I am off to Bunbury with Mum for an overnight trip to visit family and friends. Fingers crossed that all goes well. Vince is staying home to try and finish his final assignment for his MBA. I also hope that he gets some much needed sleep. I know I will be trying to while in Bunbury with so many hands to help with the girls.

J

Sunday, March 20, 2011

What's in a name

Welcome to my new blog. For those who followed Karmic Gift this is a continuation of the story of our journey to becoming parents and being parents. The Moore-Mazoue Pride blog is going to be from my perspective where as Karmic Gift was written for our Willow and Taylor. I hope to share our experiences, feelings, opinions and lessons learned.

It took me a while to come up with the name of the new blog. I wanted a name that reflected our family and the purpose of the blog. I have been accused of being somewhat of an "activist" for gay rights, which is something I have never seen my self as. I simply believe that I should have the same rights as others in my community, nothing more and nothing less. I also believe in ensuring that our children are afforded the same rights as others. So hence the word pride. Pride in the fact that we are a family that consists of two dads in a loving, committed relationship. The word pride is also applicable to a company or family of lions. So the name also means the Moore-Mazoue family. Then there is the pride that Vince and I feel in our family. All in all I think the name suits just fine.

While I am on the topic of names I thought I might discuss a question that has been as of us a number of times and is a issue that we have spent some time discussing during this whole process and in fact for many years. "Why don't your guys change your names?"

We could quite easily change our names. I could take Vince's name and vise versa. We could hyphenate our names as I have in the title. It is not that either of us has a problem with taking the others name. It is just not something we have ever felt that strongly about. Because we are unable to be married it is not something we have had to make a decision on. Neither have we ever felt that we needed to formalise our relationship, which would also require a decision. Getting married is something we would like to do if ever it becomes an option.

Since the girls have arrived we have been asked on a number of occasions whether it is something we have considered or are planning and what would be the final name that we chose. We discussed this at length and have decided not to change our names. Legally the twins have Moore as their surname simply because I am their biological father. As far as we are concerned we are both equally  their parents and biology only plays a small part. There are a number of sound reasons why we have made this decision. The first is that we are comfortable with how things are. Secondly, the actual process of changing names now would be a enormous task. It would mean having to get new birth certificates issued for Willow and Taylor. This would be a nightmare!! One of my earliest fears in this process was if we lost the girls birth certificates and had to get new ones. We know from our experiences as Nurse Managers how difficult it can be to get original documents from other countries let alone getting them changed. Then there is that infamous question on many a document asking "have you ever been known by another name?". Having to tick yes creates a whole new set of hurdles for most people who have to tick this box. It often requires maintaining two sets of original documents. The last reason is purely sentimental and played only a small role in our decision. There are many "Mazoue's" running around out there and there is pretty good chance that the name will continue. Whereas the name "Moore", or at least our branch of the name, has little chance of continuing and I wanted to at least give it a chance and Vince agreed. If both girls decide to be very traditional then this reason may well have been in vain. Those are our reasons and who knows, things may change. After all, this is all new to us and we have learnt not to say never.

A quick up date on the girls.

Willow is now 4kg and Taylor 3.7. They are both still having problems with reflux but the medications are helping. Taylor still suffers terribly with colic and the only relief we can seem to give her is "Infants Friend".  We had our first appointment with our Paediatrician and he was happy that both girls are healthy and thriving. Two words any parent wants to hear.  


Taylor

Willow