Sunday, March 20, 2011

What's in a name

Welcome to my new blog. For those who followed Karmic Gift this is a continuation of the story of our journey to becoming parents and being parents. The Moore-Mazoue Pride blog is going to be from my perspective where as Karmic Gift was written for our Willow and Taylor. I hope to share our experiences, feelings, opinions and lessons learned.

It took me a while to come up with the name of the new blog. I wanted a name that reflected our family and the purpose of the blog. I have been accused of being somewhat of an "activist" for gay rights, which is something I have never seen my self as. I simply believe that I should have the same rights as others in my community, nothing more and nothing less. I also believe in ensuring that our children are afforded the same rights as others. So hence the word pride. Pride in the fact that we are a family that consists of two dads in a loving, committed relationship. The word pride is also applicable to a company or family of lions. So the name also means the Moore-Mazoue family. Then there is the pride that Vince and I feel in our family. All in all I think the name suits just fine.

While I am on the topic of names I thought I might discuss a question that has been as of us a number of times and is a issue that we have spent some time discussing during this whole process and in fact for many years. "Why don't your guys change your names?"

We could quite easily change our names. I could take Vince's name and vise versa. We could hyphenate our names as I have in the title. It is not that either of us has a problem with taking the others name. It is just not something we have ever felt that strongly about. Because we are unable to be married it is not something we have had to make a decision on. Neither have we ever felt that we needed to formalise our relationship, which would also require a decision. Getting married is something we would like to do if ever it becomes an option.

Since the girls have arrived we have been asked on a number of occasions whether it is something we have considered or are planning and what would be the final name that we chose. We discussed this at length and have decided not to change our names. Legally the twins have Moore as their surname simply because I am their biological father. As far as we are concerned we are both equally  their parents and biology only plays a small part. There are a number of sound reasons why we have made this decision. The first is that we are comfortable with how things are. Secondly, the actual process of changing names now would be a enormous task. It would mean having to get new birth certificates issued for Willow and Taylor. This would be a nightmare!! One of my earliest fears in this process was if we lost the girls birth certificates and had to get new ones. We know from our experiences as Nurse Managers how difficult it can be to get original documents from other countries let alone getting them changed. Then there is that infamous question on many a document asking "have you ever been known by another name?". Having to tick yes creates a whole new set of hurdles for most people who have to tick this box. It often requires maintaining two sets of original documents. The last reason is purely sentimental and played only a small role in our decision. There are many "Mazoue's" running around out there and there is pretty good chance that the name will continue. Whereas the name "Moore", or at least our branch of the name, has little chance of continuing and I wanted to at least give it a chance and Vince agreed. If both girls decide to be very traditional then this reason may well have been in vain. Those are our reasons and who knows, things may change. After all, this is all new to us and we have learnt not to say never.

A quick up date on the girls.

Willow is now 4kg and Taylor 3.7. They are both still having problems with reflux but the medications are helping. Taylor still suffers terribly with colic and the only relief we can seem to give her is "Infants Friend".  We had our first appointment with our Paediatrician and he was happy that both girls are healthy and thriving. Two words any parent wants to hear.  


Taylor

Willow


4 comments:

  1. Hooray! Welcome to your new blog.

    Not crash-hot on the font (a bit tricky on the old eyes), but I'll be reading it through Feedly, so doesn't have an impact there.

    Love the name! Pride suits your mob so much.

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  2. Thanks Caren. Sorry about the font. I was playing around with it and forgot to save it so it used the last one I looked at. Teach me to go back and check changes.

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  3. Thank you for starting another blog Jem, I am so looking forward to reading it.

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  4. so glad you have started another blog, the title is great, i agree about the family name, especially when there are so few to carry on the name, you know what i am talking about. i love reading your words jem, you should write a book. love you all deb xxxx

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